Is the sky still blue?

Sometimes I wish I was dead for some hours, or maybe even for a couple of days. And I’m not thinking about it in a morbid or suicidal way, but in as a catharsis between my actual life and the reflection of it in the mirror of my ideals. I wish I could walk with my eyes wide shut in a world where I’m not , where time just starts to smoothen the hollow path which still carries the shadows of my steps walked in the desert of life.

First I would accompany in the sorrow of my lost the few I once regarded as being my friends. I say once, because at the moment of my unfortunately death, some of the ones who have had a special vibe in my heart, might have let themselves blown away by an ephemeral wind, just like clouds in the high sky. I would somehow, I don’t know what I will and not will be able to exert after I pass to the other side, console my friends for whom the memory of the smallest act of kindness I ever did for them would break a rain of sincere tears in their eyes and an enduring storm in their wounded souls, and let them know that the sun will rise after dark if they believe in the power of tomorrow. And I would like to see if the ones who drifted apart would stop for a moment in their perfect glass worlds and think of me, of all the things we shared.

And if the universe would actually continue to exist without me. If the sky would be still blue for those holding hands and gray for the lonely ones, and if the highest mountain would still be just another challenge for those who fight for their dreams and a reason to quit for those who don’t believe in making the impossible possible. And if the birds would still sing in the morning for those who don’t live in the present, because they are too busy planning the future.

And then I would awake back to life, like from a deep dream. And everything would be different. The stars would be purple and red and orange and the moon would color the night. I would believe in myself, I could fly higher and a smile of a child could change the world.