Let me be

I don't ask for anything anymore. I know I can't have him and that hurts. I don't understand which is the reason all happened? Just to get my heart broken for the second time? It seemed so real, like me and him were right. And don't tell me to be glad for what we had. That's not fair. It may have been the best time of my life, but it was over before it begun.

I don't ask for his love, I know now he belongs to her. I don't want to forget him or to find someone else. That would be actually hard, because no one would be him and I don't fall so easy. But that's not the point. All I want is to be in peace with myself. I don't want to be happy, I gave up happiness a long time ago. I just don't want to feel that my world is going to end. I want to see tomorrow. As miserable as it might come, I want to know that there's a tomorrow.

I don't want to ever smile again, just to be able to stop crying. I can accept being on my own, as long as I don't feel alone. I don't want to learn to dream, I just want the nightmares to stop. I want to lay my head on the pillow, close my eyes and for little while to lose myself in nothingness. I don't want the sun to shine. I want to feel the cold rain, it reminds me that I'm alive. That I'm still here and life goes on without you. And I have to move on. I don't know where to, just far away from you.